After a long break from social media since my last post, including a second child and a 6-month parental leave, it felt like the time was right to put pen to digital paper again. I’m going to focus this piece on my journey coming back from parental leave and my reintegration to the workforce.
People who know me well, understand how much I value conversation about social constructs in the workplace, and what can be done to challenge existing norms. The broad topic of returning to work after a prolonged absence is well documented in terms of “best practice” and “guidance” for how employers and employees can ease this transition, however, what I’ve seen less of are personal accounts of the return to work for individuals.
My aim will be to capture the emotions, my state of mind, the ups and downs and what had a significant impact as part of my re-integration to the workforce from day 1 to today.
What’s my story?
I’m a working dad of 2 kids, Felix & Elise, married to my partner ML with whom I shared the parental leave - 6 months each. I’m a long-term employee at Accenture, approaching 15 years and have spent the entirety of that time in our client-facing consulting practice. As with my first parental leave in 2018, I returned to the same group I was a part of before taking the leave of absence.
Acknowledging the privilege of both being able to take parental leave as a father and being able to work from home on my return is important. There are still too many cases where organisation culture and peer pressure are barriers to taking more than a few weeks parental leave as a dad. I am grateful to have had both a partner at home and an organisation at work that have been supportive.
Let’s start with a visual of my journey for the last 6 months.
Return-to-work journey highlights
Week 1 highlights included: nervous excitement to get back to work and reconnect with colleagues, sadness that uninterrupted time with Elise was over but also gratitude that I had the opportunity to do so. Loneliness at work was a thing due to continued work from home and not being up-to-speed on the latest goings-on in the organisation.
I got this!
Month 2 is best described as the “back to reality” month after joining a complex project with a new team. The most powerful feelings this month were ones of mild panic (can I remember how to be good at my job?), “I got this” once the team structure was in place and effective, and envy of peers’ careers that had advanced in my absence.
Month 3 was a welcome period of stability, a busy workload paired with a steady routine for the kids now settled back at daycare. The juggling of work and personal priorities was real but the vacation on the horizon kept things looking up.
Month 4 combined a great training course and learning experience at work, with a 2-year delayed trip back to see family in Europe. Both provided me with a positive boost to close out the year and excitement to get into 2022 and perhaps… the back of covid.
Why do I feel so lost?
Month 5 arrived with a sudden jolt and can best be summed up by chronic self-doubt in my abilities to do the job I’ve done for 15 years. This, combined with tiredness, a bout of covid in the family, and the unrelenting question of, “why do I feel so lost?” put me into a period of serious self-reflection and if I’m honest, in the moment it felt like the wheels had come off.
The career rollercoaster I’d ridden gamely for 15 years suddenly felt alien, disconnected and I’d lost control of the journey.
What came next?
I don’t think I’ll ever know for sure if it was the arrival of kids, the impact of the pandemic, or just a natural transition point in my career, but month 5 has become the most pivotal moment in my career since starting out in 2007.
I'm on the wrong ladder
Despite harbouring designs for a move away from client-work and into corporate HR for a number of years, this mindset shift came as a surprise. I had returned to work from parental leave ready to chase the next promotion and envious of peers who had advanced in my absence. Overnight that had changed and a string of emotions; fear, excitement, relief flooded my day-to-day as I started to navigate the changes I needed to make to redirect the next phase of my career.
And so began the process of figuring out how to step off a career ladder I no longer wanted to climb and jump onto another which reignited my passion for the work I love doing.
This is where I’ll leave things for now because as of today, my career transition is very much a “work in-progress” but there will be a part 2 of this journal where I’ll reflect on how this story develops.
Closing thoughts
What have I learnt since coming back from a second parental leave, now with 2 kids and 15 years of a career in the rear-view mirror?
Happiness matters – finding joy at home, at work and with the people that matter most is fundamental. Being able to identify gaps in that and being ready to challenge the status quo was the core driver for me to seek out a career path change after 15 years.
Life evolves – who we are, what we do, how we go about it, is an ever changing narrative and positive disruption is a good thing. As humans we love routine, it brings safety and familiarity but with change comes growth and with growth comes happiness. This is the secret sauce.
Inclusion & Belonging is everything – listening to others, understanding their story, being bold to lean in and ask how they are really doing. These are the difference-makers for all of us. Two individuals at work were and continue to be the rocks I have leaned on for the last 6 months. They have given me the energy, positivity and support I needed to get through the most challenging period of my career to-date, with an unwavering generosity of their time.
In this age of pandemic, with constant disruption at home and at work, the pressures on all of us are greater than ever and for some, hidden behind a webcam and endless calls. So, lets take the time to go deeper, to ask the difficult questions and be ready to bring our vulnerability as a service to others. It will make the difference.
Let’s get to work.
Views are my own and do not represent organisations or clients I have worked for
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